Self-harm

Those who had the misfortune to live a childhood marred by a serious traumatic event, we are more likely to become problematic adults. I'm not saying anything new, but in this case would affect a very disconcerting sequel, a sequel, on the other hand, most commonly associated with sexual abuse during childhood. The severity of these disorders is multiplied when not enough was done to stop them in time, nor when he left to happen. Almost all survivors of childhood sexual abuse (hereafter, CSA) have lived a childhood and adulthood also where sexual abuse has become a taboo subject not talked about, and if you do not talk does not work, and if consequences are not resolved as self-harm. When we say that survivors of CSA are characterized by low self-esteem, difficulty relating to others or problems with sexuality, which could be extended to other traumatic events, do not think anyone is surprised. It seems quite logical. However, if we make the same claim as to a person who has the need for cuts, bruises or burn consciously, then it may be more difficult to demand the same understanding as before.

This is not a sequel as rare as many of us like to believe, or we're going to try to understand the motivations for this behavior so disturbing and misunderstood. First, however, I would like to mention another sequel shared by all ASI, a sequel present in virtually all trauma and, what interests us, a sequel that is manifested in an unquestionable way of self-harm. I mean the pain, a pain more or less overt, sometimes hidden and sometimes try to show it as a reinterpretation of the role of victim who lived during childhood. However, the combination that make self-harm and pain has a different meaning. We will not deal with pain, so to speak, conventional. Talk about the body aches and pain of the soul, and how the first act to try to redeem the second. Although he insisted that self-harm may have different origins, I want to focus on the ASI, and that is the subject I know best and for which I have a concrete explanation, an explanation, though, that perhaps can be applied to other cases. In self-harm, as we said, the pain becomes a fundamental element to understand any mechanism related to it, but more importantly, if anything, is to insist that our perception of it and how we use who suffer even is very different.

Pain is not a passive agent, an effect but can also be a cause in itself, a target for specific results.

Self-injury is experienced as a way to extract from within all the pain that grips us. The greater the self-injury, the greater the pain is harmless, because so is the need to free him. The problem is that, once released the tension, and after that first moment of calm, are the shame and guilt. It should be clear that no self-injure because, as if it were a hobby. Like alcohol, food or gambling, this is an addiction that requires more than just when will neutralize and overcome it. So, talk about self-harm is a spiral that feeds into a succession uncontrolled sometimes no end in sight. It is not easy to unleash all this accumulated pain. It is, as acknowledged by those who suffer one more reason to feel stigmatized and continue hiding the secret that keeps the person in that prison of pain, silence and misunderstanding. There is a clear awareness that no one would understand the reasons for this action. In many cases not even want to understand, since the origin of them is sexual abuse, whose cause is usually a family member.

And even if that obstacle to overcome, it is likely that only consiguiéramos reproach and that cast doubt on the confession. Who wants to hear: "I self-harm, because as a kid my father, brother, uncle, grandparent or cousin sexually abused me? Much of the families can not accept, so that revictimized who dares to "destabilize? the family entity. Normally, there is always a cause to produce an effect. That is, one would assume that if someone is self-injure because there is a specific event that triggered it. Input is, but not only that. When something goes wrong, any addiction, even though we produce a fleeting sense of relief in the long run, always ends up making things worse. With something like self-harm occurs. Although at first both addiction and self-injury can calm down and away from reality is invariably ends replanted before us, making us feel more guilty, ashamed and miserable most of what we already felt before. In the end, it becomes frustrating and self-destructive routine, in which we are always looking for the exit through the wrong door. I know it may seem strange, but also self-harm are related to our need for forgiveness.

No, do not look for any religious recollection, even though everyone has their own beliefs. No doubt it will seem paradoxical and contradictory, not only seeking forgiveness for a fault in any case belonged to the victim of ASI, but also, that forgiveness is sought through aggression. But that, if we understand, we do so from the standpoint of the survivor. Could say that each implies aggression and a part of forgiveness, a single star for two papers. Aggression to reproduce thereupon be who we forgive ourselves and we care, that is, recreate a scenario that takes us back to the past, a past where things happen that should happen as acting as they should have done those without did. Now is the survivor himself who, in his two roles, makes the aggressor and rescuer / carer. Another primary association, and perhaps not entirely conscious, is the need for calm and peace that we all desire. The pattern internalized in childhood was to attack / calm. First came the abuse (assault) and then was the aggressor (calm). Now, unconsciously, trying to repeat the same pattern to find that tranquility.

It is as if we lived in a permanent state of anxiety, pain and despair that can only neutralize self-harm (assault). Then, we care, we serve and forgive us (quiet). http://www.jmontane.es